Thoughts, Emotions!

What every you call them. I guess what ever illness you have that could be life threaten you are going to have emotions and different ones then normal. And no one really knows what you are going thru until they walk in your shoes. That's why when I knew that I had cancer first thing I did was contact a friend that had already been thru the chemo and surgery. It was not the same kind of cancer I have but he had already been thru and knew alot that help me.

After my surgery the scar didn't really bother me but they were not what I excepted. They are bigger then what I was told and what I excepted. But any way to late now. But when I got home many to times after I got out of the shower I would look in the mirror and wonder why did I do this to myself and shed a few tears. But before I left that bathroom I already bounce back and told myself this is not your fault and not your choice. The mastectomy was not a options and it was not like I was doing it just to make myself look better. And then I am ok with myself. Am just saying emotions they can really cause you to think different. I kept this to myself and finally told my daughter how I was feeling. She listen and shed a few tears with me. I don't share every thing with her I do keep alot to myself. When I do share with her she is very comforting.

But I feel I still have a great and positive out look on things. I could not have gotten thru alot of this with out GOD! with out La Sha with out Jack my riding buddy! and with out the support of all by family!