Dr. Clovon

July 21 had my post op appointment with Dr Clovon and it went really well. The incision looks really good and all heal up. I ask her if I was in menopause and she said full force. Every thing was good on pathology report no cancer. I ask her about what happens now that I don't produce any estrogen. She said my body still produces a little from the adrenal gland. I ask her about my bones she suggest that I have a bone density test done just to see if I have healthy bones. I go back to see her on Aug. 25 for a pelvic examine just to be sure that am all heal inside. Which I am sure I am. So every thing is going so good. Its all the work to God who I give all my thanks to. I would be no where if it wasn't for him.

Dr. Oommen

Today July 15 had my visit with Dr Oommen. I had lost 3 lbs since July 6 probley due to my surgery. My lab work was good except my blood sugar was high. So I guess I need to go have that check out. Dr Oommen said every thing check out good. He still plans on keeping me on a 10 yr plan if not longer. He said I will still be on my Tamoxifen and he was very serious about the 10 yr plan and longer. He said the cancer I had is a very sneaking one. If taken a pill every day is whats going to keep the cancer away then that is just a drop in a bucket. I love my team of doctors.

Surgrey

Had my surgery on July 6 at 8:40 in the morning. Mandi came to pick me up at 5:30 and I check in at 6a. Went to a room and put on my hospital gown and Mandi and I watch a little TV for about a hour. Nurse came in and ask question and put like 4 hospital bracelets on and took some blood. About 7a they came in got me took me to pre-op room and Mandi went and sat in waiting room. In pre-op room they gave me a IV and had several different nurses and doctors come talk to me. They have gave me a bag of fluids, a bag of meds, a bottle of Tylenol thru my IV. Then Dr. Cloven came to talk to me then they gave me a dose of what they call happy drug. I remember when it took affect and it didn't take long for it to hit me. I remember being wheel out thru some double doors and that was it. I don't even remember getting on the operating table and them putting the mask on me to knock me out the rest of the way. With my last surgery I remember getting on the table by myself and breathing thru the mask.

Then when I woke up they were talking to me and they were shaking me. They were taking off the ekg stickers and next thing I new they were wheeling me to my room. Room 212 same room I had before with my last surgery. And there sat Candice and Mandi. I remember I could not talk I had lost my voice it was down to a whisper. I guess it was from the tube. Candice show me that they hospital had a nice hand bag with shampoo,bath soap, conditioner, and lotion in it. The nurse brought me some water and hot tea for my throat it was very sore. I drink some the hot tea. Candice had to leave so Mandi and I sat there and visited. Later La Sha came up to visit and she brought me some hot Starbuck tea and lemon drops and a cinnamon bread. I drink on the Starbuck tea and ate a bite of the bread. Dinner came and it was clear liquids so I drink the broth and some of the other drinks on the tray. It wasn't to long after that every thing came back up. I mean I throw up every thing and it was a lot and I could smell the mint from the Starbuck tea. The nurse even said that was alot. Later Mandi left to go home. Then I laid down and went to sleep for the night. Thursday was a good day seen Dr Cloven and they took the cath out and got to take a shower then got to go home that afternoon.

I go back to my post-op appointment on July 21th. I will say this surgery was a little more intense then the last surgery. A little more pain and harder to get around.

Surgery

Well I had pre-op today and it went good. So I am ready for surgery next Wednesday on July 6th. About a three week recovery and then am good to go back to work. All looks good and then just one more after that. I am doing good and feeling good. Every body always ask me how are you doing. I am really bless to say I feel wonderful. Not only do I feel wonderful I look at things so different now and that makes me also feel wonderful. I still have so many more blessings to come and so looking forward to them.

Surgery

Ready to go my next surgrey is July 6th for the Robotic Hysterectomy. Over night stay in the hospital. And 2 week down time and back to work. Ready to get this one over with. Another preventive for cancer. I am bless to have my family with me as I go thru this surgrey. Can't say much for friends cause I never hear from them. Most of all I got God in my life and he has my back.

Love you all in God's name!

Dr. Appointment

Had my follow up with Dr. Chow and every thing went really good. I don't go and see her for another 6 months. I am please with how things went.

Just waiting for a call from Dr. Clovon to see when my next surgery is. It will be sometime in July. It will be another cancer preventive and can't wait to get that over with. It will go really well. Only 2 weeks of recovery.

Then August 1 a dr. appointment with Dr. Heisten I am very excited about that appointment. I am doing really well and staying busy. Filling my time and empty space with the grand kids. Not much time for a social life but who needs one when I have my kids and grand kids that care so much about me.

I have the best children and grand children anyone could ask for.

Love

Wow!

What a beautiful day out and today has been so awesome. Well went today to see Dr Shide radiation oncology. She said that my skin is looking so good. And that I look very health. She release me so I don't have to see her any more. She really love my hair and thought it look really good. Have gotten so many remarks on it looking good. And I will say that I think it looks really cute. Short and sassy! Next week visit with Dr Cloven to see when that surgery is. Keeping myself busy since my friend decide to stop talking to me. I have been keeping my days and nights fill.

Life is so good!

Love you all!

Dr Oommen

April 15 had a visit with Dr Oommen my medical oncologist. Lab work was good he said he examine me and said ever things felt and look good. Gave me a name of a reconstruction dr. But still can't have any thing done until Oct. He ask me about having my female organs taken out. That will come in the near future. I told him I go back to see Dr Clovon in May to discuss it. He still wants to keep me on a 10 yr cancer treatment plan. I will continue to see him every 3 months for the next 2 yrs. All is looking good. My skin looks so much better but still red and hot and warm to the touch. I figure about 6 weeks until the redness and the warmth is gone. Now just can't expose it to the sun cause it will burn. So if it get expose to the sun I have to put on alot more sun block. But all and all it really looks good.

I am so bless and I have God watching my back!

Happy Easter!

Week on End!

Saturday April 9th what a day. Did the 5k run/walk for Race For The Cure! And boy was it long and rough specially if you didn't do any work out. It was great all the people walking there were so many. Thank you to every one that walk with me and that donated. But I am paying for it now my legs and back hurt so bad. Here it is Tuesday and am still hurting. I blame it on my special friend. He left me hanging. And what I mean by that I was riding with him and doing other things with him that kept excrise those legs and back. But nooooooooooooooooo! He just drop me like a hot potato. I don't get that excrise any more. I sure did pay for it. Its all his fault. My skin is looking really good I just have some other issue with some thing going on under my right arm. Just waiting for the doctor to call back. I so wish I could be out riding its so nice out. I just want to say again thanks for the donation!

Radiation! Another Chapter closed!

I am so done with my radiation. Skin is pretty much raw but it will heal. My daughter had flowers sent to Texas Oncology. It was such a nice surprise and the note was awesome. She said I was her Hero. Brought tears to my eyes. And tonight she is taking me out to eat. She has been there with me every step of the way. I could not ask for any thing more. My van is also paid off. I don't have to worry about that any more. I am so blessed. Now if my friend would just talk to me again all would be great. But we can't have every thing. I just want to say thanks for all the support and readers. My journey is not over with yet there will be two more surgery. And not sure if the journey will ever be over with. So this concluds another chapter in my life!

Life

Life isn't always beautiful Sometimes its just plain hard Life can knock you down It can break your heart Life isn't always beautiful You think your on your way Its just a dead end road At the end of the day But the struggles make you stronger And the changes make you wise And happiness has its owe way Of taking its sweet time No life aint always beautiful Tears will fall sometimes No life aint always beautiful But its a beautiful ride!

Weekend!

Its Saturday and so pretty outside. I have one thing to say about my friends which aren't very many. Friends are someone who keeps in touch with you, someone that is there for you, someone that will give you space when you need it and wait for you to contact them, someone that wont bale on you, someone that is there for support NOT TO FEEL SORRY FOR YOU!, someone that will be there to help you if you need something, someone that puts a smile on your face, someone that trys to lift you when your down, someone that don't run when times get rough, someone to take you to doctors appointment if you need the support, someone that has a ear and will listen no matter what time of the day or night, someone you can cry on there shoulder. So many more factors on what a friend is. For those that knows me I will go to great lenghts to be there for you and except nothing in return.

For those that knows what am going thru don't FEEL SORRY FOR ME cause am no charity case and I don't want your pity if you look at me and you feel sorry for me then your not a true friend. Cause you don't stay in contact with someone cause you feel sorry for them you stay in contact with them cause you are a friend.

I don't need any one nor do I want any one to feel sorry for me am a big girl and I can handle what ever is handed to me I don't need no pity. Some times I need a shoulder to cry on some times I need someone to just listen but I have no one. But thats ok like I said am a big girl maybe I don't need all that.

True friends are like fragile cargo handle them with care and take care of them!

I hope you all have a good weekend and a great week going to be nice out!

10 more days!

So glad its the weekend. Am ready for this 3 day weekend. And next weekend gets better cause it will be a 4 day weekend.

Only 10 more days come Monday. So glad that this chapter is closing on me. Just one less thing I have to deal with so let hope that it is working and there will be a good out come cause I know that I sure am paying for it. Riding weather so lets see if that is going to happen. I am ready to ride didn't get to last weekend. It has been such a busy week for me to much running going on.

Have a good weekend.

11 Days

The day was ok. Don't have to much to say but its so pretty outside and nice. And not sure why I have the blues.

Hope everyone had a good one!

12 more!

It was such a good day. Had someone try to bring me down but it didn't work. Radiation is good and went to go see the social worker afterwards. And was very please to hear some good news. I was on top of the world after that news. Being running all day now rest for the wicked!

I hope that you all had a great day!

13

Well lets see good day a little cool outside but still a good day. So had a radiation tech ask me today if she has talk to me about Boost. I said no what is that. She said the last 7 days of radiation I will get a Boost of radiation. Just when I thought I had all I needed they think I need a boost. She told me that on the 22nd my appointment time would be a little later then normal. I will have to go thru a trial run of the Boost. That means laying on that table a little longer then normal while they take more films and mark me for the Boost. Which mean more drawing and stickers. Wow am so excited I can hardly wait. But If needed so be it. The big machine that does my radiation they will put another part of it which will make the beams target only on my scar. They want to give they scar area a Boost. Which am thinking this is a big scar thin but long.

Then I ask the doctor about why the back of my right shoulder is also turning red. He explain that the angle that the radiation is going in is also coming out the back of my shoulder. So I guess the radiation is going right thru me kind of spooky cause I never really look at it like that. I just thought that the back of me was also getting it. Well you know what I mean. I guess you will have to be there to know what am talking about.

On top of that on the 22nd that morning I will be having a sona-gram done which Iwill be having to drink why to much water with in 30 mins and hold and not go to the bathroom. Another thriller looking forward to. But there is a reason for that nothing wrong just precaution to keep the cancer from coming back. And checking to make sure my meds. and that it hasn't spread any where else. So see all for good reason. I am game any one else?

Cancer Prayer:

For our fears, give us courage.
In our tears, find a song.
For our doubts, grant conviction.
Where we're weak, make us strong.
Turn our faults into blessings.
Turn our grief into praise.
And for dark hours of sadness, Give us bright golden days.
Turn our anguish into worship.
Turn our hearts to heaven's way.
And for the blessings you have given,
make us thankful every day.

Amen!

14 more days!

Well just a little over two weeks to go. I am so getting there. Its been a good day got up early and went to get little boss lady ready for day care since her mother didn't. Then went and did radiation then came back pick up Peyton, Jaxson, and Jayden went out to Burleson to pick up my little 2 day check. If it wasn't for my friend then I would not of had the gas to go pick it up what a special friend. And let me tell you my skin is itching so bad on the right side where the radiation is being done at. The creams are not helping with the itching. But I just have to suck it and deal with it. Not to much longer!

Day not sure!

I just know that I have 15 more days left. And today I am tired and have to work tonight. So think I am going to try and lay down before I play MOMO and have kid duty. Love them grand babies. But first have to get all cream up.

You all have a wonderful weekend I know I will!

16

Half way done 16 more days. I am over the hump and when I am done with all this radiation and I can go back to working what ever I will be looking for a new job. I can't deal with my work place not listening about what days I can work and what days I can't work. I have been dealing with this problem every since I have gotten cancer. I even filled out a new sheet on what days I am available to work. But for some reason they just can't seem to understand it.

I try to work with them and even give in to give this past weekend. But they just don't want to work with me. I am so done with it.

What is one to do?

17

That's right 17 more days! Moving right along. Tired but was tired before I did radiation. Got to get me some energy meds. I will be ok after Friday!

Tough and plan on staying that way nothing can bring me down.

Love you all! And you know who all is!

18 more days!

I have done a total of 15 radiation and have only 18 more days left. After yesterday was not sure if I wanted to keep going on and doing them. Today has not been to bad of a day.

I just need to get mine mind into a mode of not wanting what I want. Not giving up cause I am a bigger fighter. One day I will!

I hope you all have a good day!

Yes another rough day!

All I can say is 19 more days!

I did go today to the other house and pick up a few stuff. And was looking around at what use to be my room. And my thoughts were I don't belong here. So I wonder where do I belong? Do I belong any where?

Life!

We don't always get what we want in life. Then there or others that does. If we don't get what we want doesn't mean we didn't apply ourselves. It just means that it wasn't for us.

So many people are so afraid of taking chances or being hurt that they miss out. I know I have been there. So if you want something in your life be sure that you can have it. That goes back to my saying DON'T WANT WHAT YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T HAVE! LOVE LIKE YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN HURT! DANCE LIKE NO ONE IS WATCHING!

Some times I wish I could share what I want and yes what I need. But sometimes it better left unsaid cause you know that you can't have it.


If we refuse to live from our hearts, we will live in the fantasy of denial or the sterile prison of caution.

Tough Day!

Well did another day of radiation. And I think it is catching up with me. I am really wore out today. Come Monday will be day 20. And I am tired it seems like I still have a long ways to go. Am not even half way there. When I get down to 16 more days I will be half way there.

Am tired just plain tired today. Glad not work or radiation this weekend. I do have to do laundry and spring cleaning but going to take it easy. See am to tired to say much going to go rest. You all have a great weekend.

Why settle for good with you can have great!

Another Day Down!

That's right another day down with radiation. Just 21 more days to go. Not to bad getting a good tan on my right side. I guess I know what they mean when they say i will be more tired. Had a good day spent it with La Sha and took her to go visit my aunt. It was a nice vist. Got several unexpected text from someone that really made my day! Yep I was all smiles it was great!

Now have to go to work tonight and this weekend its suppose to get cold Saturday. Am suppose to do some spring cleaning and do laundry.

I am having such a great day! With all this cancer stuff going on all I can say is that this CANCER MESS WITH THE WRONG BITCH!

22 more days and looking good!

Well came home from work around 8:15 this morning. Fix coffee jump in shower and watch a little TV. Headed off to radiation it was quick. Got social worker to sign off on some transportation papers. Then went to other Texas Oncology and got them to sign off on some papers. Then came home sure didn't want to since it was so pretty out side. Any way watch some more TV with La Sha. Then had to go to CVS and pick up script. Then back home again sure didn't want to since it is so pretty out side. Just didn't want to be in the house today.

I thought about motorcycle riding, thought about long skirt, thought about 008, thought about being free. It was just to nice to be in doors.

Only 22 more days left of radiation and am so looking forward to it. Then I need to decide when to have the other stuff done.

Decision, Decision why can't someone else make them? Just kidding on that subject I want to make the decision.

Later everyone!

23 More Day!

What a day. Watch a good movie this morning then off to radiation. It went really good and seen the doc afterwards. Dr. Shide said every thing looks good and stay on top of the creams. Then I went to go have lunch to kill some time. After lunch went to Dr. Clovon the gyn. She told me what my options were. And in no hurry to get it taken care of. In April I will have another transvag sonogram done. Then I will have to decide when to do it.

Decision, Decision!

24 More Days!

Lets start out by saying this weekend was awesome! Wish that it didn't have to end but I can't have every thing.

Did my radiation today and it was ok. They had a little trouble lining me up with my markers. So they had to do more x-rays. Then I guess they finally got me line up right. After that it went really smooth. On the other hand it was a busy day. Got up at 6a and then went grocery shopping and then to radiation, then drove to Arlington to pick up little boss lady (Layla). Kept her for the rest of the day. Went to CVS to pick up her and my medicine. Layla had to take with her a tool box of crayon thru out the whole store. Then went over to Walgreen and pick up more medicine. Then to end they day cook dinner and got on computer and did all my farming. Boy I need to get a life.

25 More!

Yes I am still counting. The way I see it when am done with my radiation its just another chapter in my life that is close and another one will open.

Its been a busy day today. Spelt in until 7a and then got ready and went to go visit my aunt that I hadn't seen since my mother pass away in 1975. It was so good to see her and also got to see my uncle. Then went to go do radiation it went really quick and getting pretty red. After that had to go pick up Jaxson from school then went to my other home. Visit with them for a while. And looks like a busy night for me tonight. I get to baby sit the G-babies. But tomorrow am busy, busy, busy! And can't wait looking forward to it. Get to see my friend! What more could I ask for.

Look out weekend!

26 More Days!

Only 26 more days and the weekend is coming up. Had a little longer wait today to get radiation done. They took x-rays today and then the treatment. X-ray are to make sure that my markings are still line up. Every time I go in they strap my feet and turn me this way and that way to be sure I am line up with the beams. I guess the treatment are making the skin tighter cause today when I lay my arm in the holder it pulls more in my chest and is so much tighter. I really thought that after doing this and stretching my arm every day it would get better and not so tight. But it is just the opposite. I guess care it is cooking the tissues and skin. Got alot of good remarks about my hair so it wasn't such a bad day!

So now its time to eat then pick up Peyton and go pick up Layla. Then take Peyton to basket ball practice and then to Jaxson Baseball practice. In stead of being a sports mom I am a basket ball and baseball MOMO!

What would I do with out my grand kids to keep me running and keep me living? I love them babies!

Another Day Gone! 27 more!

27 more days to go moving right along. Starting to turn a little red or as they said blush to the train eye. Today was ok my chest felt a little tighter then usual. Had a little more trouble getting the arm in the holder on the table. And again today was Bolus day. Alot of cream afterwards and the chest is tender when I put on the cream.

I get to start back to work next week. Am down for 3 nights. Then the next week should be for 4 nights. Still going to take me a while to get on my feet. But I will get there and I have plans!

Love like you have never been love even if you don't get it in return!

28 more days to go!

That's right 28 more days to go. I got a week under my belt. Today was a good day. Seen the Dr. Shide the oncologist. I will see her every Tuesday. She said my skin still looks ok. But she didn't really except to see to much of a change since its only been a week. She made sure I was using the cream. So tomorrow will be the use of Bolus. They didn't use it today so the radiation went a little deeper. Any way it has been really a good day.

To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did. When God takes something from your grasp. He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better.

Concentrate on this sentence.....The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.

Monday!

29 more days to go!

This Monday has been really good. Went to take care of some stuff in Burleson and then went and did radiation. I am feeling pretty darn good. Nice day for a ride. But we can't always get want we want. So make the best of it!


MY WISH FOR YOU!

_Where there is pain, I wish you peace and mercy.
_Where there is self-doubting, I wish you a renewed confidence in your ability to work through it.
_Where there is tiredness, or exhaustion, I wish you understanding, patience, and renewed strength.
_Where there if fear, I wish you love and courage

Weekend!

Had a wonderful weekend. Lets see after the week being so long and busy I was ready for the weekend. Saturday took the little boss lady (Layla) to the doctor and then came home and got her something to eat. Got a text asking if am ready head your way. Low and behold my friend wanted to take me for a ride. Told him I would meet you at the duplex. I was ready to go and ride. We road all day the wind was a bit much but I didn't care I was on the back of the bike and with him. Then went to his sister and ate and I felt very privilege. I must be doing something right. I got to ride two weekends in a row. Now that I have weekends off I can do so much more and not miss out.

I hope every ones weekend was as good as mine!

Radiation 30 More!

First week of radiation done. 30 more treatment to go. This week was ok except Thursday but I made it.

30 more to go!

Suck it up and life goes on!

Crappy Day!

Today was horrible set at a doctor office for over a hour. Check in early also and didn't get seen by the doctor. I was at my breaking point. I finally told them I had been waiting for a hour and I have to reschedule. I have to go to my radiation appointment. She told me that she would have the nurse call me. I left and went out to the van and call the nurse and told her I need a new appointment. I told her that I waited over a hour and I have other appointment. She said am sorry can you come after your radiation appointment. I told her no I have to be some where at two. She said do you want me to call radiation and have them reschedule that appointment. I told her now I need to reschedule. I was so up set. Went and did my radiation and its hard afterward. My chest is more sore and tight. And arm hurts from being pulled.

Then went to go pick up Shreai up from work and had a flat. Now I know how to change a tire. But never change one on a van. The spare was under the van didn't have a clue on how to get it off. Shreai didn't either. Some guy came by and show us how to get the spare down.

What a day! Ready for it to be over with. Be so glad when the weekend comes.

Radition Markings!

Went today to do a trial run for my radiation treatment. I laid on this table with my arms over my head for a good 30 minutes. The tech took like 6 x-rays. In between the films she mark me with a permenet marker and took measurements where they are going to do. On my right side I now have beside the 3 tattoos I have draw in blue lines from my collar bone down the center of my chest off to my side up my side under my right arm pit. Now keep in mind this is done with a blue permenet marker. Then on each corner they put that good tape so if the blue lines come off they would still know where to hit with radiation. The tech did say try not to wash off the blue lines except I could wash off the one above my coller bone so that when I wear my blouse I want be self conscience does it really matter if I am. The blue marks don't measure up to having your breast remove. Now tomorrow I will get the first shot done. And then after that Monday thru Friday at 11:15 every day until I have done all 33 treatments.

What a experience!

Sunday

Got up and went to church came home to a nice surprise. My friend came by to take me for a ride. It was so nice to get out and enjoy the sunshine. The ride was awesome rode to Burleson and had a good time had good food and sat around and visit. The ride back was great the weather was so nice it wasn't to cool didn't need my heavy jacket it was great. Then another surprise came Sunday night and I was surprise at that. That was even better so can't complain back about my Sunday. Just need more of it!

1 month check up!

I went to see Dr. Chow today. Blood pressure was way up not sure why it was 151/92 to high for me. Dr. Chow said am healing really good. I can go back to work in March 1 but still not lift any thing over 10 lbs. She said she is going to give me a break from her. I will see her back in 3 months on May 18th. She made sure that I went to go see Dr. Oommen and ask what he had to say. I told her that I got scan and tattoo for my radiation and when that starts. And told her that I was going to see Dr. Clovon on the 17th and she said that's good and that will be one less problem to worry about. So every thing is looking good she release me to drive. So now am ready to start radiation every thing is looking good. I am on my way to a new point in my life. Continue to ride with me on my journey and see how radiation goes it will be a experience.

Smile its getting better!

Radiation!

Went to Dr. Shide yesterday and got scan and tattoo for radiation. They put these wires on me and then scan my chest. After scanning they took pictures of my chest. I thought when they told me they were going to take pictures I thought they were talking about the scan. But no they took a 35 mm camera and took pictures of my right side and the top of my chest and left side. After that he tattoo once on my right side and then tattoo me on the center of my chest and then once on the left side. After that he took a permanent marker and put a big X on each tattoo then put a clear tape on them. The tape stays on and the tattoos they are not to be scrub off. They said they stay on pretty good. I go back next Tuesday for a trial run and they told me not to wear a good shirt cause they were going to mark my chest up pretty good. Not sure the reason for that but it is a one time thing. Then on Wednesday I go for my first radiation treatment and then every day Monday thru Friday. A six week long 33 treatments. And the cream is a prescription it is about 100.00 a tube. I am glad to finally get this going and get it over with.

As far as my appointment with Dr. Chow it was suppose to be today. But since Ft. Worth ISD was close so was her office. So I still have not been release to go back to work or drive. But I am already driving sometimes we have to do what we are not suppose to. I will have to reschedule tomorrow to see when I can get in to see her.

Here it is Friday!

Well this has been a crazy week. First got a call Tuesday night from Dr. Shide they cancel my appointment due to the weather. Then come Thursday I call and cancel the other appointment due to the weather. School has been out all weekend due to the weather. This crazy Texas weather you never know about it. I just wish spring and summer would hurry and get here. I want to go riding and do some other stuff. I have two dr appointment next week and then one on the following week. Lets just hope that the weather is good. Being off for 6 weeks is hard. I just don't know what to do with all the time I have.

Any answer let me know.

Thoughts on the subject!

Here are some things to remember when you are fighting any kind of cancer. How each moment of each day is one step forward. Each tiny step you take is a victory…or at least a step closer to victory. From just getting out of bed and brushing your teeth to everything more!! A Little Bit Stronger with each step! That is what the cancer battle is! We get a little bit stronger! Just a little bit stronger!! I am not giving you another hour or even another minute! I am busy getting stronger!!!!!

Just remember…you’re getting a little bit stronger!! Cancer is not for wimps! So, fight like a girl! Not just pink, but teal and navy blue and black and green and purple and yellow…Cancer of any color ribbon is not for wimps!!

Just remember you are not a WIMP!

Here we go new dr appointment!

Had appointment on Jan 26 yesterday with the radiation doctor Dr. Shide. We talk for a while and then she examined me. Ask me to raise my arms over my head. Raise them as far as I could. She wanted me to start my arm exercise so I can get me arms all the way over my head. Have not been able to do the exercise since Dr. Chow nurse wanted me to wait and see if the fluid pocket would go down. Dr. Shide ask me to call her and see if I can go ahead and start them so by next week I will be ready to go. Well I decided to go ahead and start the exercise on my own. Did them this morning and let me tell you I could feel my skin really pulling. Some part it felt like my skin was fixing to tear. But I can handle the pain not that I like pain just know how to handle it. My fluid pocket still there and big and uncomfortable looks like I have been working out on one side. I just want it to go away.

Go on Feb. 2 back to Dr. Shide and she will do a CT scan to give her a ideal where to mark me with tattoos. I will have three of them on my right side. On my chest and under my arm. I will have a total of 33 days about 6 weeks of radiation Monday Thur Friday. All together it will take about 30 min total. That's getting undress and the beam. The beams will shot on and around the tats. Only side affect by the time am down I will have a really bad sun burn and maybe some fatigue. Not to bad she will give me a prescription for some cream to put on me.

So much to this whole cancer thing. At least I got the big thing over with. Now its just the baby steps but it just seems like a long, long process.

It just seems like some people don't want to be around you is it because they are embarressed for the way you look or they just don't care. Any way I still have a little ways to go!

Dr. Vist

Ok so Sunday went to go see a client after church. When I got home I notice my shirt was wet. I had leakage around the drain tube site. La Sha took off the bandage and put on a fresh one. Over night it didn't drain very much. Been watching it all day and I notice that it was not draining at all but notice a big knot up above the scar. So went to go see the nurse and she is thinking a clot keeping it from draining so she try to work the clot out but no luck. She went ahead and took the drain out. She said probley what happen and La Sha said this also my body is healing so fast above the drain that it want allow the fluid to drain so I have fluid build up. So now I have to let my body asobe the fluid. So now I am drain free but still can't drive have to finish heal inside or do any heavy lifting so my body want make any fluid on my right side. We don't want any more fluid build up on that side since it has no way of draining thats way no more needle stick or blood pressure check on the right side. I am just happy to get the drain out. Was a little sad when she said I still can't drive. But thats ok we can't always have what we want!

Dr. Oommen Report

Went to go see Dr. Oommen the chemo oncolgy Friday on the 21. Before surgery tumor was measuring 13 cm and by the time surgery it had gotten smaller down to 6 cm. It was stage 3A he also said that the tumor I had was just not on the left side of the breast it was in all quadrants which means the whold breast was cancer. He did say that the cancer I have is a sneaky one. Even thou I don't have any breast it can still come back on the chest wall and in the scar. So he still wants me to do radation for 6 weeks. You would think that will take care of it. Well not so much so I will keep taking the Tomaxfin for 5 yrs and then another drug for 5 more years after that. I will be 61 when I am through and his remake was if he was me he will still worry. And he wants me to have my ovaries remove so that my body don't produce any estrogen. He is wanting to get really aggresive with my cancer.

So he is sending me to a gyn and going to see about having my overies remove. I go see her next week. Then on the 3rd I get to go see the oncolgy for radiation. So I guess my treatment well consist of 10 years. As longs as I get my treatment and what ever it takes to keep it from coming back I'm good with it.

I just have to say life is good no matter what bumps in the road I hit God's got my back!

Thoughts, Emotions!

What every you call them. I guess what ever illness you have that could be life threaten you are going to have emotions and different ones then normal. And no one really knows what you are going thru until they walk in your shoes. That's why when I knew that I had cancer first thing I did was contact a friend that had already been thru the chemo and surgery. It was not the same kind of cancer I have but he had already been thru and knew alot that help me.

After my surgery the scar didn't really bother me but they were not what I excepted. They are bigger then what I was told and what I excepted. But any way to late now. But when I got home many to times after I got out of the shower I would look in the mirror and wonder why did I do this to myself and shed a few tears. But before I left that bathroom I already bounce back and told myself this is not your fault and not your choice. The mastectomy was not a options and it was not like I was doing it just to make myself look better. And then I am ok with myself. Am just saying emotions they can really cause you to think different. I kept this to myself and finally told my daughter how I was feeling. She listen and shed a few tears with me. I don't share every thing with her I do keep alot to myself. When I do share with her she is very comforting.

But I feel I still have a great and positive out look on things. I could not have gotten thru alot of this with out GOD! with out La Sha with out Jack my riding buddy! and with out the support of all by family!

Jan 12

Went to the doctor today first visit since surgery. Got 3 drains taken out I was so happy cause they sure do itch. One was a little read and irritate but its all good. The one drain they left is the one that is draining the most of the lymph fluid. The pathology report was not so bad. The tumor was 6 cm about the size of a lime. Dr. Chow said big for my size since I was not that big breasted any way. She took out 16 lymph nodes and only 4 was cancer. The margins were good and left breast was ok nothing there. So know the only thing that really bothers me is that under my right arm since they had to mess with the nerves is really sore and numb feeling. It feels like mush I don't like the feeling at all. But I am hoping with time that the feeling will go away and get back to normal. I am suppose to go back Monday on the 17th to get the other drain out as long as it is 30 and under of fluids. But it seems to be draining more and the nurse said it would. So not sure if I am going to get it out Monday. We will see. And let me tell you it is hard to take a shower with 4 drains hanging from your neck. One drain hanging from your neck is not so bad. So keep your fingers cross that I get the last drain out.

Jan. 5

I know I am a little behind on blogging but come on who is really reading and keeping up with me. But here it goes Jan. 5 Wed. after my surgery I got to go home. My daughter La Sha came up to stay with me and a what I call a special friend came by just to visit before I went home (Jack). Now come on if someone knew you were going home that day how many friends would make the effort to come up there. They would probley wait until you got home. But not Jack he came up there and stay until I felt the hospital and walk out with me.

Got home around 1:30p and my x and his girl friend came by to visit me and brought me so flowers it was a nice visit. Then Mandi and the kids Kaydence and Hunter came by also to visit me. It was nice to see them. Didn't do to much but setting around and visit with company. Later that night La Sha empty 4 of my drains that was a experience since it was all new to me and to her. But she was awesome and was being be careful not to hurt me. La Sha has taken such good care of me. But she is a little upset cause I want take pain pills. But don't really need them to much.

By the end of the week was trying to do things for myself. Trying to take the load off of her which she was not to happy about. My scars are ugly and big and long. But hey its ok they will fade as time goes on and who is looking at my chest any way NO ONE! I can deal with it, its not pretty but it is something that had to be done. There was times when I would look at myself and ask why did I do this to myself. Then I have to stop and think this was not my choice, I didn't make his decision. It is something that needed to be done and then I look in the mirror and I am ok with it. You know how the mind works it makes you think silly things and then you have to re-check you thoughts and get back on the right page.

Surgery Day Jan 4th

Well today is the big day Jan. 4th 2011. Got up at 4am and took a shower. La Sha and I left the house at 5am to go to the hospital. Had to be there at 5:15 and surgery was to start at 7:15. Got check in and went to day surgery they put me in room 5 and told me to take every thing off from head to toes and I mean every thing. I did ask about the panties and they said those too. My thought was why they panties but I did as they said. I think La Sha and I sat in there for a couple of hours before they came to get me. We both were wondering why they had not already come and did the IV. They just came and ask questions. Pretty close to 7am they wheel me out of the room and to the holding room La Sha follow me and gave me a kiss and we said we love each other. She could not come back to the holding room with me. She was out in waiting room by herself and I was in holding room by myself. I think finally she had some company. But not me.

They gave me my IV and gave me some pain meds. They ask all kinds of question and then Dr. Chow came by and ask if I had any question for her. Then off to the OR and I remember the nurse writing on the board 7:12a and me sliding over to the next table. They put a mask on me and that was it don't remember any thing else.

Hours later I woke up in recovery room and the nurses and Dr. Chow was concern about my heart rate shot way up there. Dr. Chow order ekg and they were giving me med to help bring down my heart rate. But I felt fine except for the fact I broke out in a real bad sweat and was hot. Not sure if it had any thing to do with my heart rate being high or if I was having a hot flash. It was bad the nurses were giving me like 4 wet wash clothes and put a fan on me. They gave me some ice chips to eat finally my heart rate came down enough I could go to my room after about 2 hrs in recovery.

Got to my room 212 and the nurse before every one could come in she took my vital sign and my blood pressure was kind of low and heart rate still a little high but it finally came down. The nurse also strip by drain bulbs. La Sha stuck her head in and she said i was fixing to get a lot of visitors. La Sha, Bubba, Bert, Mandi, Bryan, Shelly, and a special friend Jack came in to see me. It was nice having them all there put a smile on my face. I felt good was not sick at all. It was good that I had company. La Sha, Bert, Jack, Bubba, Mandi, Bryan, Shelly and the Pastor from church were all in the waiting room that was nice. I was a little surprise that Brother Donny the pastor from church came by. And my friend Jack very nice that he was there waiting and stay to see me afterwards very nice.

Thanks to all the support that I had that day my kids,family,and church family and special friend. And all the prayers that came in. What more could a girl ask for. Stay tune for more.

Hugs to all!

Part 8

It was on Dec. 14 that he nurse call me and let me know that my surgery is schedule for Jan 4 and 7:15 am. She gave me all the instruction on what to do and who to call and schedule my pre-op. Got the papers in the mail on who to call for pre-op. I went in on Dec. 28 and got lab,chest x-ray, and Echo done. Then had appointment with a nurse by the name of Shreere Benton. La Sha and I went to see her and she explain every thing very well. What was going to take place in surgery and what was going to take place after surgery once I get to my room. She was very good and every thing was in detail. She went over the care with me for when I go home. Well the next time I will write will be after my surgery. Stay tune to see how it turns out.

See you then!

Part 7

I had a vist with Dr. Chow today on Nov. 10 she was very please on how the tumor had gotten smaller. She was planting the seed for surgery. She wanted me to stay on the Tamoxifen for at least another month to see if it would get any smaller. I was to go back to her in Dec. on the 9th. That afternoon went to go see Dr. Oommen and he was still please at the results so we didn't have to hang around there very long.

On Dec. 8th went back to Dr. Oommen and I let him know that I didn't think it had gotten any smaller and lymph nodes were more noticeable. Did didn't think so but he assure us that it is just going to take time. The Tamoxifen is a slow results. My next time to see him will be Jan. 4th.

On Dec. 9th went to go see Dr. Chow. She check me out and she also said, she didn't think there was much different in the size from Nov. Then we started talking about surgery and what was going to be done. I am going to have a Modified Radical Mastectomy on the right side and she will be removing all the lymph nodes under the right arm. Then we talk about the left side do we take it or do we keep it. She thinks it will be good to take it since I already had trouble with it in the past. So on the left side she well do a Simple Mastectomy. Now it is just wait and see when the surgery is. She said that within the next week her nurse would be calling me and letting me know when it was.

Part 6

Next chemo was on Sep. 15. Got lab work done and went to see Dr. Oommen and then off to chemo. It was not so bad. Shreai took me and La Sha showed up the drugs going in are not to bad its the after effect. Any way Shreai, La Sha and I played cards. It was great getting chemo and playing cards with your daughters. We had a good time and it didn't take very long. After this second around it was not so bad. Since Kim a nurse explain to La Sha and I how to take the nausea meds. We master it cause I didn't get sick not once go us. Went to church that night got a head ache but it was ok. Didn't get sick this around. But went back that Friday and got some more fluids and felt a little sick sitting in the waiting room. So they got me back pretty quick. Got my fluids and was good to go. I would say this time around was ok.

On the 21 of Sep. went and did my lab work. Blood counts down a little not to bad. My next around of chem is on Sept. 29. Went and got lab work and then went to see Dr. Oommen. He was not please with the results of the chemo. The tumor is not responding to the chemo. So I don't get chemo today. He is starting me on hormone therapy. Tamoxifen which is a estrogen blocker. This is what he thinks will make the tumor smaller. I started it that night and I take it every night.

My next vist with Dr. Oommen is on Oct. 13 he was very please on how the Tamoxifen is working It had made it smaller and moveable alot. He said it was justing going to take time and getting it really small for surgery. So my next vist with him will be on Nov. 10.

Part 5

Picking up where I left off. My first round of chemo it wasn't to bad while getting done. I do know that later that night on Aug 31 I started getting a headache. It was Thursday that was not good at all. We are talking about being sick and I mean sick. I was sick all day Thursday and did alot of sleeping and throwing up. I was suppose to work that night but I needed up calling in. My sister came by La Sha house that's where I was staying. She brought me something to eat soup and drinks. She also help me bath while I was soaking in a tub. Boy I was sick bad stuff. Went that following Friday and got some fluids due to the fact with I was dehydrated. I even got sick while I was sitting in the waiting room. Poor La Sha it was kind of funny. She was gaging and some other lady help. They finally got me back and gave me the fluids. She explain how to use the nausea med and gave me a script of steroids.

Boy when I took the steroids 3 a day for 3 days. Wow! never want to do that again. I was up for 3 days straight. Could not sleep bad stuff. Went to bed thinking I am tired lay there for 10 mins. and I was up again looking for something to do. In those 3 days and nights I moved furniture around, hung stuff on the walls, went to work. Let me tell you I sure wanted to sleep I even sat on the side of the bed crying cause I wanted to sleep. I sure was glad when I was done take those. That was my first around of chem. Next week is lab work.